Disclaimer: I don't own anything I-man related, I didn't steal
anything, only thing that I have any claim to would be Amanda and
Richie, but that's rather obvious
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Comments: This is a little ficeete focusing on the dirt Brothers and
Sister have on each other :) and of course, I'd like to thank the
wonderful Snowtiger for beta reading this for me.
Can't you just pretend to be nice? Can you at least pretend to be
nice? You could just pretend to be nice.
-Pretend to be nice, Josie and the Pussycats soundtrack
Darien walked into the keep, and paused as he heard the awful sound
of his Keeper and his cousin, laughing together. Add in the deeper
sound of what could have been a chuckle from Richie, and it could
only mean trouble.
"What are guys talking about?" Darien asked as he walked around the
divide in the keep, only to have everyone suddenly silence themselves
and try to look busy.
`That's not good....' Darien told himself as he walked further
in. "Someone want to let me in on the secret?"
"Oh, it was nothing, *nothing I'm to talk about*," Amanda said with a
slight smile, which sent Richie into a silent laughing fit, while
Claire put a hand over her mouth to stop Darien from seeing her smile.
"What....?" Darien asked confused. He looked at Amanda who grinned
back at him, and he knew she had done something wrong.
"Amanda.....what did you do?" he asked.
"I don't think it's what *I* did...." she trailed off in a small
laugh while the keepers lost their composure once again.
"Okay, what the hell is going on?" Darien asked now angry.
"D, calm down," Amanda said. "I was just telling them a little
about my childhood."
"What part?" Darien asked warily.
"The part about `Courtney', although from what I've heard it was more
a part of your life," Richie said with a slight smile as he went back
to writing on some papers lying out on the keep counter.
"What?!" Darien asked panicked.
"We were talking about Chrysalis, and Claire was telling me about
Allianora, and then I made a comment about how you pretty much lose
all brain capacity around a pretty woman...."
"You told that story?"
"Yes, and I would tell it again," Amanda told him as the keep doors
opened and Hobbes walked in.
"What's going on?" Hobbes asked as he came around the divide to see
Darien glaring at Amanda, who has a smug look on her face.
"I was just telling a story about one of Darien's old girlfriends,"
Amanda said trying to look innocent.
"Amanda, stop," Darien told her.
"Hey, I have just as much right to tell the story as you do," Amanda
"What story?" Hobbes asked.
"When Darien was 16, and I was eight....."
"He had this girlfriend; Courtney. Our parents were out of town for
the weekend, and he and Kevin were supposed to be watching me. Well,
Darien and Courtney wanted to be `Alone'...."
"Amanda please....." Darien pleaded with her, but she ignored him.
"But he didn't want anything happening to me, and Kevin was at some
School night thing. So he came up with an ingenious idea. He had me
sit on the stairs in the house to stand guard until Kevin came home,
and yell if anything happened. That way he knew where I was, and he'd
know if anything bad was going on," Amanda continued.
"Well, something did happen. Kevin came home, and he didn't have a
key. I told him I couldn't let him in the house, cause I couldn't be
sure it was him. He asked me where Darien was, and I told him "It's
nothing I'm to talk about," because it was my favorite phrase Darien
had taught me at the time. Kevin finally said to ask Darien to let
him in. So I ran upstairs into Darien's room to ask...."
By this point Darien was bright red, and trying to avoid all eye
"You will regret this Amanda," he mumbled..
"Anyway, you can figure what I walked in on, and I ran downstairs and
let Kevin in crying, cause I had no clue what was going on. Kevin of
course, told mom and dad when they got back. And as punishment my
mother made Darien explain the facts of life to me," Amanda finished.
"Oh," Hobbes said trying not to laugh as Darien looked over at him.
He cleared his throat as he looked at his partner before trying to
say something to smooth things over a bit. "That was a totally
inappropriate story to be telling....at this time and.....yeah...."
Darien just shook his head and looked at Amanda. "I said "don't",
said "you'd regret it", but you did it anyway. I cannot be blamed for
"What are you going to do?" Amanda asked, her eye's narrowing.
"Well, Kevin didn't only ruin my `plans' when we were younger did he?
I seem to recall an incident when you were around 17 years old....."
Darien started, making Amanda suddenly turn pale as she started at
"You wouldn't....." she trailed off, already knowing she had sealed
her own fate.
"Oh, I would. I recall a time when Uncle Peter was out of town, and
Aunt Celia was visiting Kevin. You decided to have a little party,
invited the entire high school if I remember right. And of course,
Kevin decided he wanted to come home and visit you, at the height of
the party," he started. By this point Amanda had become quiet,
folding her arms and staring at the floor.
"I remember Kevin's description very vividly. "We walked up to the
house, and could hear music so loud the car windows rattled. Aunt
Celia stayed in the car, and I went up to the house. On my way, I
passed by four passed out teens in the flower beds, and saw that the
front window had a watermelon thrown through it, and the watermelon
had crushed one of Aunt Celia's favorite plants."
Amanda was glaring at Darien as he re-told Kevin's take on the event.
"When I entered the house, the living room had the lights out, and
from the noises I heard, I didn't want to walk in. I checked out the
kitchen, to find people having a naked body surfing contest on the
floor with whip cream. I finally went upstairs, and found various
passed out, and half conscious people in the few bedrooms, until I
got to Mom and Dads. When I opened that door, I saw something no
older brother should ever have to see. My sister and her boyfriend,
in the middle of.....well, you know what I mean," Darien said in a
perfect imitation of Kevin.
"So, I yelled at her to get herself together. I ordered all of those
upstairs to start vacating the house. I then went back outside, got
the garden house, and took care of the couples in the living room, as
well as the unfortunate event going on in the kitchen, while Amanda
yelled at me. When we went outside, was when she finally realized
that her mother was there, and she was `busted'. And by the way, Aunt
Celia wants to know what exactly it was you told her about the `birds
and the bee's" Darien finished.
Both he and Amanda glared at each other for a minute, and what
started off as a slightly humorous day, seemed to be taking a very
"No more stories?" Amanda asked.
"No more stories," Darien agreed.
"I need lunch," Amanda stated before walking out, soon followed by
Darien and then Hobbes.
Claire shook her head and mumbled something about siblings, then went
back to her work, glancing over at Richie who was still writing on
the same piece of paper.
"What are you doing?" she asked him.
"Just taking a few.....notes," he grinned at her before returning to
But I'm tired of hearing, the same stupid lines, Why do you do what
you do to me?...shaking my confidence driving me crazy,...can't you
just pretend to be nice?
-Pretend to be nice, Josie and the Pussycats soundtrack